Advertisement I admit it. I'm terrified of this hobby. I'm starting to think it isnt for me 9 tarantulas in.. Reasons being, my first tarantula is Stiffler as some of you may know.. A male tarantula that matured in my care and i invested alot of money into him. (That'll teach me to buy unsexed specimens) Ive invested over 300 dollars into my tarantulas with intention to breed and sell eventually. Eventually is now. Ive been too afraid to put my male and female together, I dont want to lose my first tarantula due to a mistake on my part.. It might shock me back into arachnophobia and I would sell all my stock. I want so badly for this to work. The situation is perfect, both specimens matured in august and both are fed alot. 2-3 crickets daily since september when I was planning on breeding them but I was afriad and put it off. He hasnt made a sperm web this month (his last was late September) but he still wanders. He is willing to take the chance of his life or reproduction, I should honor that and allow him to make that chance but.. My mental disorders kind of cause me to panic and throw paranoid fits where the worst will happen and I'm just too afraid to face this situation. I love my original tarantula .. I dont want to lose him but its natural. I want to hear your experiences.. Your first pairing, your first mating loss due to a fiesty female, or just plain scary breeding experiences. I think it may help motivate me to take the chance and breed my pair, and endure the emotional pain I'm so afraid of.